Used Cars
by Janus-Ekat writer
Summary: A story about the rivalry beetween the twins that came before Dipper and Mabel, and a used car sales man, bent on revenge. How was it that Stan's car was dubbed the "Stanley Mobile"? How did Gideon come into possesion of 2? Who wore the glasses that Stan keeps with him at all times? As the twin's bond crashes and burns, what is left amongst the ashes? Complete. For now...


**Give me a little creative license of what Gravity Falls was like a while back ok?This is what happens when you eat almost a whole package of chocolate covered pretzels. It came to me when I was looking for dating advice in the episode "The Hand That Rocks the Mabel." (I'm still pretty sure the guy who asked me out to lunch is Bill, just a few days ago he asked me if I belied in the supernatural, and what my thoughts on dreams were! Tell me that is normal! If he shows up wearing offering me deer teeth I may have to friend zone him for the better of mankind.)**

* * *

After the usual daily attempt for Gideon to steal the shack, Stan was closing up shop for the day. Dipper and Mabel were covered in blood, thankfully not theirs, Gideon had summoned Blood Rain but Stan just passed it off as Pitt Cola to attract tourists.

Mabel flopped down on the floor, exhausted from her efforts. "Grunkle Stan, how did you even get into a rivalry with Bud Gleeful?" She asked. "yea," Dipper chimed in from behind the register, "You must have really done something to hate each other so much."

"Ok here's the story."

* * *

_**Many, many years ago**_

Stan looked over at the DMV, today he would finally get his drivers card. AS he stood in line, a bell went off. "Congratulations! You just won a new car and the position of ruler of all money land!" An announcer said from no where. "Here's you new car Mr. Pines!" A lady in a bathing suit said. Stan grinned "Thanks beautiful woman! I couldn't have done this without my side-kick, driving bot!" A car-robot appeared. "Thank-you for build-ing me, da-ddy.

* * *

"Boo!" Dipper and Mabel hissed. "That's practically the same story you told in the bottomless pit!" Dipper said. "And that doesn't explain how you and Bud became rivals!" Mabel added. Stan rolled his eyes "What? That was nothing like my story _Grunkle Stan Wins the Foot-Ball Bowl_!" Mabel gave him a glare.

" Fine here's the real story!" He started, sitting on the stool behind the register. "Well," started Stan, as he counted that day's profits. "It all started when I got my car. The Stanley Mobile..."

**Line break**

_**Many, many, actual years ago**_

Stan walked around the resident area of Gravity Falls, the not so bright waitress in the dinner had told him that there was a used car salesmen somewhere around this area. Stan's last car had been destroyed after so many high speed get-aways and using it to driver his exes new boyfriend's car into a ravine.

He came across a very pink looking house with a field full of rusty looking-cars. A slim man wearing a pink-checkered suit and a purple bow-tie with a straw hat on his head was walking around the field leading potential buyers for the cars.

Stan walked over to the crowd who were now ooo-ing and aaa-ing over a pile of rust on wheels that the sales-man assured them was a perfectly working antique worth millions of dollars. He shook his head, what a pile of rubbish! If all people around the world were this dumb, scamming would be totally easy!

He waited until the tour of all the cars was over. Before walking over to the man who everyone a dressed as "Bud" or "Gleeful." Stan tried to think of the least suspicious plan to ask about the best ways of scamming people in the town, while Bud convinced someone that the possum in the engine was a good deal.

"Engine possum at no extra cost!" He said before turning to Stan. "Why hello there, I'm Bud Gleeful, seller of some of the best used cars around!" Stan took his outstretched hand as he continued talking quickly about what car was best for Stan.

"Actually," Stan cut in, "I wanted to know some of your scamming techniques." Mentally he slapped himself. _"Really subtle Stan!"_He scolded himself. "Now I'm sorry Stan but those are completely classified." He apologized to Stan.

Stan jumped into the nearest car and turned the keys that were carelessly left in the ignition. "Stan I'm going to need that car back." He told him. Stan continued to back over a hedge. "Stan!"

"Try and catch me sucker!"

* * *

"And that is how, we became rivals and why my license plate it like it is; It was to celebrate. It's also where I found the deed to the Mystery Shack too." He finished.

The twins still weren't content. "But your real name's Stanford not Stanley!" Dipper complained. "Umm. That was a typo! Now go to bed! We have an early morning tomorrow!" The twins shared the same look of confusion before going to bed.

"_So maybe that wasn't quite the true story either." _Stan reflected. _"But it's still better than them having to deal with the truth." _He concluded as he pulled out Stanley's old glasses. Behind him the vending machine glowed.

**The End...**

** Or is it?**


End file.
